Friday, January 06, 2006


Wow. I'm out of words I think for awhile.
I've been thinking lately about the word "hard" Someone will say that doing something is too hard for them and it makes me wonder what that means. It would not be hard if you knew how to do it, so maybe nothing is hard, we are just ignorant, or lazy. But ignorant only exists because we are untaught. So being untaught has to exist for ignorant to exist. lazy does too, because if everyone worked as much as they should the word lazy would not exist, because there would be no need. So, I guess that means that when we find something hard, it is because we don't know how to do it properly, which means we were not taught, thus we are ignorant. But at least we know someone was looking out for us by making up the word to describe how you feel when you can't do it.
That...well...I was out of words. But I guess I've been out of school a bit too long. Only 4 more days..I can make it.
I'll write what I actually had to say about the word ' hard' and whatever it means later. I'm not sure anymore actually.
People shouldn't be left alone with their brains...it reaps some mad issues that nobody cares about.
I find words very limiting for reasons that are going to be very hard to describe. I'd rather be able to just allow people to read my mind at certain times. I take that back, I think everyone should be able to have their minds read. So that theres no lack of communication or whatever. You know, when you really need to communicate, but can't find the words? Like when things slowly grow cold between friends, but neither is able to open up the wound and fix it because come on, what are you going to say that will break the ice gently and allow words to flow freely in order to resolve issues and settle things so that everything is good and open again? It's so hard to do.
I have an art teacher who is constantly trying to get into our heads and find out how we think and what we think. He thinks it will help him teach us. I have a problem with that though because my mind is always changing and I couldn't possibly let him know everything because I would be talking non stop. I guess I feel that for him to truly understand me, he'd have to know everything about me. Let me say right now that there is no way I even want him to know that much about me. I don't at all..in fact because he wants to know so much I am put on the defence against him. I think a shell has formed around me. It doesn't help that he laughs at my opinions and jumps to conclusions before I have fully explained myself. Who wants to open up to a guy who thinks you are crazy?
Reading back I should have said that part about my mind always changing in a different way. I'm not flippant and continually changing my mind about things, I meant more that that happens at school, as I am realizing new ways to do whatever or learning things about myself and what I believe from the students around me. I am often challenged about my faith and learning what my classmates actually think about moral issues all the time and it is constantly forming my mind and changing the assumptions I've made. I guess I make assumptions too, but i least i'm not allowing them to decide how I mark people's work. whoa...stop.
Alright, hope I didn't waste too many people's time today. I just had another thought...please comment on my flawed ramblings and tell me what I should think so I can think about that ok? I was just thinking it's a bit scary to reveal thoughts, (for the millioneththth time) but how am I going to learn what I'm doing wrong? please don't crush my confidence too badly. hehe


  • At January 08, 2006 4:32 PM , Blogger Laurs said...

    I think you should think whatever you want to think (within reason of course).. but be open to other's opinions.. so you can learn from&about people..etc. But knowing others' opinions doesn't mean you have to adopt their opinion either eH?
    And I think you should just stand up to your art teacher.. and just be who you are.. and not afraid of it. Change is good... especially if it's learning to open and change your mind - I'm talkin in circles.. I'll just shut up and see ya later!!


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