Sunday, October 08, 2006

I thought I was too busy to think, but I seem to find time after the fact. I was cutting hair past the usual lunch hour at school, so I took my lunch alone.
I'm only a little bit scared of the people in Galt, so I sat outside in front of the school on the edge of the window along the sidewalk. I sat near enough to the door that I could just get up and go in if someone who wasn't normal walked by and tried to talk to me. It was sunny out, just after raining for the entire morning and it became one of those moments where the world seems to slow down and you actually notice the things around you and where you are, rather than being there without realizing it because you are (thinking too much.)
Anyway, the sun was reflecting off the cars into my eyes, and it was breezy . Then things suddenly got really quiet, and the sun went behind a cloud, then a car honked and a bug fell from the sky and landed with a thunk onto the hood of the car right in front of me, slid on it's back off the car and landed on the ground on it's back and waved it's feet in the air for a few seconds before flipping over. I saw it all happen, but didn't actually SEE it until it replayed in my head. Then I had to laugh...
I have it almost everyday where things happen, but it doesn't click until it's been replayed in my head with me actually paying attention. I think it's because I generally need review anyway..lol. Or I'm thinking about something else and there's no room. I know that I'm listening, but I'm listening and storing things without intentionally doing it. I can replay conversations in my head in the proper voices, but it's a bit random when I do remember. If I wasn't able to do this I think I'd be confused all the time, instead of just some of the time...because I'd miss stuff. I day dream too much, so things over lap.

That's probably why I suck at organization and just simply remembering things. I forget to do things ALL THE TIME. I don't think it's memory anymore though, because if you have a bad memory you have a bad memory in everything, not just a few things. I'm a bit of a let down everywhere because of my problem. People depend on me to do something and I actually forget, even when it's my boss on my first shift telling me to shampoo so and so in 5 minutes. 5 minutes later another stylist asks me to shampoo someone else and I'm like, " sure!" forgetting my boss's client completely and usually giving me a bit of a heart attack when I do remember 30 seconds too late. !!! 5 minutes!

I could make this a good thing, I mean, my brain naturally prioritizes and only allows me to think about one or two things at a time. I know how to tune out everything and focus thanks to growing up in a big loud family and homeschooling. This would be a good thing if my brain naturally prioritized in the proper order. That would be awesome.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home