Beginnings.....Again

Hello World
So I've got a new job recently. It was a bit of a whirlwind. Yeah, and no one knew I wanted a new job. I didn't either, lol.
One day at school my teacher turned to me and asked if I was happy where I was. I said,
"You mean where I'm sitting?"
"No, where you work"

oh.

I hadn't really thought about it too extensively before she asked me that, but I knew that I wasn't planning on staying where I was forever, which says something about how happy I was.

Anyway, so she told me about a salon in kitchener that was looking to hire reliable- hard- working -keen- to -learn apprentices and she thought I would "do awesome" there. SO that was pretty cool. Who would say no to that?

So I applied, and got it and started working there and then it hit me that now I have to hand in my 2 weeks notice and I won't be working at my old job and I won't even be welcome there anymore. Ouch..then I kind of crashed and it was a bad weekend last weekend trying to figure out if I was making a mistake.

I had just started to get comfortable where I was, and I just finally knew how to do everything and was starting to do better at stuff, and I was leaving??

It was really hard, but I took the new job and handed in my two weeks this afternoon. I'm a bit sad. Maybe I didn't really fit in and they thought I was young and naive, but that was just a challenge to prove myself. The atmosphere is super fun there, they are young and fashionable, and theres classic rock and disco playing most of the time. It was just a cool place. It still is a cool place, but I won't see it anymore. Kind of sad don't you think? :(

Now I'm starting again, which is a bit excited because I love starting new things. I don't like being the new person, but I have a feeling that this salon will be great. I already feel more confident there, and I don't think I will be looked down on.

I guess what I mean is I will be considered an adult. Which is pretty cool.

Sunday Night

Conversation I just had with Caleb:

Me-"Why are you plugging your ears?"

"hmm..."

"You don't like the sound?"

"Well..hmm..meh...gaah."

"You don't want to tell me?"

"uh uh. well. I can't remember why."


So anyways.

!!!CELEBRATION!!!
-passed 300 hr, 600hr, and 1000 hr written exams this morning.
Plus some other stuff that I will write about later...lol. It was a very good Monday.

Happy Thought #3

Psalm 73 touched my heart yesterday evening at young peoples. We read it during our lesson and I recognized it as a passage I wrote out a few months ago because it stood out from the page as I was reading. Sometimes I come across a verse that just seems to fit exactly. If I were to write how I felt right now, it would go something like this. Just less beautiful. :) Our lesson was on Jacob's wrestling with God. I think this verse relates to anyone who is trying to live as a christian, but see the wealthy of the world and struggles with their flesh. Anyway, Enjoy!

" Truly God is good to Isreal,
To such as are pure in heart.
But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled;
My steps had nearly slipped.
For I was envious of the boastful,
When I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
For there are no pangs in their death,
But their strength is firm.
They are not in trouble as other men.
Nor are they plagued like other men.
Therefore pride serves as their necklace;
Violence covers them like a garment.
Their eyes bulge with abundance;
They have more than heart could wish.
They scoff and speak wickedly concerning oppression;
They speak loftily.
They set their mouth against the heavens.
And their tongue walks through the earth.
Therefor his people return here,
And waters of a full cup are drained by them.
And they say, " How does God know?
And is there knowledge in the Most High?"
Behold, these are the ungodly,
Who are always at ease;
They increase in riches.
Surely I have cleansed my heart in vain.
And washed my hands in innocence.
For all day long I have been plagued,
And chastened every morning.
If I had said, " I will speak thus,"
Behold, I would have been untrue to the generation of Your children.
When I thought how to understand this, It was too painful for me-
Until I went into the sanctuary of God;
Then I understood their end.
Surely you set them in slippery places;
You cast them down into destruction.
Oh, how they are brought to desolation, as in a moment!
They are utterly consumed with terrors.
As a dream when one awakes,
So, Lord, when You awake,
You shall despise their image.
Thus my heart was grieved,
And I was vexed in my mind.
I was so foolish and ignorant;
I was like a beast before You.
Nevertheless I am continually with You;
You hold me by my right hand.
You will guide me with Your counsel,
And afterward recieve me to Glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You.
My flesh and my heart fail;
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
For indeed, those who are far from You shall perish;
You have destroyed all those who desert You for harlotry.
But it is good for me to draw near to God;
I have put my trust in the Lord God,
That I may declare all your works."

Saturday

Reconstruction on Tamara :)

Happy Thought # 2

I absolutely Love Love LOVE my little brother.

a lack of trying...or just too pressured

I like my weekdays better than my weekends.

I approach Monday badly, but once I'm into the week I just love it. And then Saturday rolls around and I work, which goes ok, then I go home and try to do the millions of things I need to do right now this minute and just wish I could sleep. (sometimes I do-and then I feel guilty) then Saturday evening it gets worse. And Sunday...just bad.

hmm....I wish my Sundays were lovely like they used to be. But I'm in tears by the evening most weeks.

I just can't keep up. I have too much to do but I can't prioritize.

So, tell me I'm messed up. I'm really sensitive too, so don't actually tell me.

I just realized that I could write on and on forever about depressing things and that I'm depressed and how this and that makes me feel. Thats dumb, I have always been a happy person. I could make amazing dark depressing art work. I could do that, but I know I wont. It's just something I realized today. I don't know if it would make me feel better, thus it would accomplish nothing. lol No one from my art school would believe I did it. They used to comment when I used black in my art at all.

Resolution: Focus on Joy.
First happy thought: I get to go to bed now and read my bible and stop thinking in this downward way!

SHAZAM

Yesss best post ever!

I have nothing to say!!

You rock!!!

Thoughts...

My minister preached on persecution tonight. I was so happy to see him. Last week he traded spaces with the minister from the Flamborough Canadian Reformed Church, and while a change is nice, a change is not nice too, it just takes one to realize it. He said tonight, " Think about the people you spend time with who are not believers, are you influencing them, or are they influencing you?" I spend more time around unbelievers than believers- a first in my life. So that struck me, how can I expect to coast through life without confrontation? One way to do it is to be a hypocrite. That's not really what I want though. Which is weird, why wouldn't I want the easy way?

I was thinking about how I grew up in a Christian home. (which might have something to do with my little fire of passion. I wonder if unbelievers are more impressed with the Christians who became Christian's later in life. I think I would be. When I think about my experiences at work, I get the impression that they may believe that when I go home at night, my parents crack a whip, feed me crusts, read me the bible and lock me in my room and I have no thoughts and make no choices of my own.

Reflecting on what I said a minute ago made me realize that it doesn't matter when you become a Christian, so long as you are talking about it in the first place. The Holy Spirit is what will make the difference, it won't be based at all on mere human thought of what is more impressive.

Thank the Lord!

I miss you

So last week Sharlene came over and I braided her hair in 114 little braids. It took four and a half hours. My brother figured out all the facts, like how many feet of braiding it was in total and whatever. It looks cool though, I'm going to try to get a picture on here eventually.

I did really well on my Practical Exams this week....PHEW. One of my huge November events is over. Only 5 more to go.
Oh-I still don't have MSN. We have a 1997-2000 version on this computer, but it doesn't work. I think it quit working on New Years Eve 1999. Really.

I saw the movie Nacho Libre tonight. CRAZY. I had to cover my eyes for the fighting parts. I hate watching wrestling. Especially when they pick up eachother upside down and smash their heads on the ground. The Movie Fly Away Home has a really bad wrestling scene with that happening. There's a loud crunch and everything. I can't stand it.

"I'm singing at the party.....It's my turn to sing....at the parrrty"

BlargMonday

It's been one of those days...
*Monday, first of all. Enough said.
*Exams.
*My car broke
*Bad news about a friend
*Board Meeting
*SO TIRED

All of which led me to thoughts like this: " I don't think I want to be a hairdresser." And " I want to move to Alberta!" And " Why is it that I have a million things I want to do but they all involve loads of waiting and money?" and " Why am I doing so many things I don't actually like doing?"

Hairdresser means " One who dresses or cuts hair" hmm....most of my classmates like calling themselves Hairstylists instead. It's newer and cooler. But when I looked it up...
Hairstylist\sty-list\ HAIRDRESSER

Another cooler thing is calling blowdrying, Blowstyling. ooo

When my car broke I was really distracted because I felt suffocated and trapped like I've never felt at school before. It's funny how when your means of escape disappears you get a little crazy. Peter used to pace around the house and snap at everyone when his car had it's wheels off or broke. But my Dad saved me later. And when we got home again he fixed the computer.

My Dad is Officially Super Dad:)

The CYA retreat was this past week. I drove up by myself on Saturday morning. Travelling is good, when you go with someone. After an hour of driving I was bored silly. And I never stop unless someone else wants to. lol. It was an odd day...I knew I'd only know a few people, but I wanted to go anyway, thinking I'd just make new friends...but I don't know. The morning was fun, and I was so happy to be there that you could have smacked me and I'd laugh. But by lunch I was feeling really lost, and just after I was considering leaving..I was going to run off when no one was looking...but I ended up staying until basically the end. It got better and there were a few nice girls who talked to me :) It mostly made me realize yet again that if some one new is in your circle, it's hundreds of times easier for you to say hi than them.
Was it good that I went - considering I was alone? I have no idea. But you make choices and live with them right?

looks are deceiving

The funny thing about those little carrots...wait...I'll find the real name; 'baby peeled carrots', the funny thing about those baby carrots is they aren't that good. But you take one anyway, because they look good. And then you are forced to keep eating them, hoping to discover one that actually tastes like a carrot and not like dirt. And to mask the taste of the dirt-like one.
In Alberta we grew carrots. And they were amazing. When they tasted like dirt at least it was real dirt...nice and black and healthy.

I went on a sleep over last night. I don't like them as much as I used to. It must be a sign that I'm getting old, because I'd rather be in my own bed. Anyway...Tong Tong and I colored her hair and it turned green. She laughed..I cried- Then at school today I was told what I did wrong and now I can fix it! Learning is fun!

She writes her name like this: ToNg tOnG
My chinese name is Toh Maina
And Riki's is RingKay

=======================


My friend Laura M has a link from her blog to mine with a heart next to it. 5 Things about Laura that I love.
1. She's a total sweetheart
2. She is in tune with emotions
3. She knows when to say something and when to just hug you.
4. She remembers you when you aren't standing in front of her.
5. She talks so cute ;)

I Love you Laura!