Self assured. yup.

So, it was decided today that I am going to be a very strange old woman. Especially if I don't get married.

A girl at school told me this weekend that she could tell I was a Christian as soon as she met me. Isn't that awesome? I was pretty excited. Then I sat there wondering how she knew, because I don't think I'm doing a very good job. I don't want it to sound like I'm bashing myself...but I see the other girls at school reaching out to eachother and I just sit there. Like, the one girl was really mad at the teacher, and the other girl ran after her to her car and asked her the right questions to get her to talk and then they talked and then she came back and I was watching and wondering why it seems so easy for some people to reach out.
I think I'm outgoing...but it is sometimes so hard to walk up to someone and say hi, or ask if they are ok. Tonight a bunch of people I met at the CYA retreat were at my church and I couldn't get up the confidence to say hi. So I just let them talk to eachother. I was justifying myself with the probability that they wouldn't recognize me.
I was talking about insecurity with the girl from school I mentioned earlier when we got together this weekend. She said that every one of the girls at school probably feels the way I do and thats why they are really friendly one day and indifferent the next. I was complaining to her that they were dumb..lol. It is dumb...who cares anyway? So often I've felt that way after saying something but at least I said something. And so many times I'm sitting there eternally gratful that so and so said something to me and broke the pattern of " whoa, they didn't even respond... they must hate me." lol.
I'm making a goal for myself: Tomorrow there are 6 new students starting at my school, which is a lot because my school only holds about 25-30 students....so it's going to change the school I think, which could be a good thing, although it's a lot of adjusting to have new students start every month. But I'm going to be friendly and introduce myself.
Confidence! ya!

Peter and Candice

I'm just sitting here minding my own business...
And Peter and Candice are talking about something, lego maybe? and then Peter announces he's going to change out of his Sunday clothes into something more comfortable. He didn't say that last part. So anyway, he hands Candice something, and she's like " what, you're going to call me from your room?" and sure enough, he calls her from his bedroom with their new phones and she's sitting behind me and he's in his bedroom near me and I can hear both ends of the conversation.
I'm thinking and talking to Laura at the same time...
"Peter and Candice are both here in my house, talking on phones in seperate rooms to eachother....WOW."
So, They are just chattering away for a bit, and I tune out...
Then I hear Candice say, " hehe I can't! 'cause Tammy's in the room!" Ew.
And then she said, " Come back here, the couch is cold." ( see above)
And he says he's not done yet.
Then she says " How can you not be dressed yet?"
and then I hear Peter yell from his room " Because it takes me a long time!"
Then he hung up on her.
And I'm still sitting here wondering at the weird world I live in.

At the salon yesterday, I was cleaning a sink and walked into and broke this clear plastic display case cover and freaked out because I'm so new it hurts, so it would be better not to break stuff!!! but anyway, I put it on the counter ( it's small..by the way, I'm not that blind) to show the boss and one of the stylists walks by and sees it and I'm sitting there cringing, waiting for her reaction. She's like " Hey! this is perfect!"and she takes the broken off piece and walks off to her makeup table and uses it to mix foundation on. haha. I felt a little better. and as it turns out another girl there broke the one they had before this one, so I felt better again. Hopefully I'm not fired.

Soy milk is baaad

I've discovered that it's soy milk that's making my heart race every day and not because I was thinking about a guy.

hurray!

My Mom made granola one time and when I ate it the same thing happened. It was like exercising without moving. I stopped eating it after I decided it was probably bad for me.
Well this time it's been affecting my school! You need steady hands to do everything with hairdressing and the racing heart was accompanied by trembly hands.

I'm just glad it wasn't anxiety or a heart problem.

On another note, my friend wants to set me up with someone. I said no.

My other friend and future sister in law is open to however, because she has good taste. ( <3 )

Anton just told me that I'm delusional. I asked him how to avoid being delusional and he said, " Um, you just have to be really careful." We are talking about guys and he said that I'll probably know when I find someone right because of a tight throat, sweaty palms and finding it hard to breath. What would I do without him!

Interview

I have a job interview on Thursday...Kind of nervous. The girl from school who told me about the job works at the salon and told me she put in a good word for me, which is super nice, but it hasn't helped the nervousness much. If anything it's worse because now I have these expectations to live up to. :)
pray for me!

Candice, Justine, Laura and I went bridesmaid shoe shopping on Saturday. We started at 10:00 ish and stayed out until 2:00. It was hard work. :) I haven't been on a better shopping trip though, we all ended up buying a pair of shoes besides the ones we need for the wedding. We pressured Candice into getting these red "Dorthy" flats because she looked like a doll wearing them..aww! Laura and I got black and white polka dot dresses, almost the same. We put them on and were standing in front of the mirror in the change room and Laura turns to me..and after a pause says, " If you get yours, I'll get mine." lol. Her shoes that weren't for the wedding were pink pointy toed high heels- (Toe cleavage shoes) When we got back to Justine's we showed Brittni the bridesmaid shoes and she said that they weren't that bad. phew. :)

Today was disgustingly hot. Everyone was so slow too, they were even thinking slow. I am still feeling it so I'm going to stop writing. My mind can't keep up with my fingers.

Ha!!

I just got asked to be someone's date.
eek..haha it's so funny. I love it.

Oh, and I'm going to a Crow's concert in 2 weeks. First concert in a looonng time. Hope I'm not a party pooper. That's what Laura called me tonight. (my sister)

Benj, the other night at supper, was asked what he and his little buddy from next door were doing in the bathroom that afternoon and why was his little buddies hair all wet afterwards. Before he could answer Peter suggested that he and Kristopher must have been doing swirlies. And Benj smiles and says " Yup!!" Then Peter asked him if he even knew what a swirly was, and he says, " Yes I do! It's when you stick the other guys head in the toilet, and flush!" (big wide grin)


My Mom was like " GASP Benjamin! you didn't!!!"

He's cute. I forget what they were actually doing, but it was probably Benj doing Kris's hair. Don't laugh, he's really good. He does mine once in awhile. And he really likes clothes. He wasn't going to be P/C's rind bearer until he heard that he gets to wear a tux.

Anyway...just had to yell that. Michelle if you are reading this, scroll down!;)

She's 20

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE!!!!!!!

Camping at Valens last summer


She is going to not like these pictures too much.
Okay Michelle, you are away on Holidays, but here's wishing you a really really wonderful birthday and a great year knowing you are out of your teens forever. And I hope you think that's a good thing eventually. ;) I'll join you in a few weeks! Lots of Love-Tammy

O.k.....vote

Mullet...or not a mullet. ja, it's oma.





I had a bad day. :( I was on desk again, and being there today felt like when I worked at the General store. I made every mistake you could think of while working there. My first shift ever I set off the alarm and the police came. I left stuff unlocked, out of the freezer, lights on, forgot to mop...every single thing you could think of. Oh, there is one thing I didn't do and that's leave the oven on. yay!
Today I undercharged and over charged, gave wrong info, let a client leave without paying, let a client leave with a slip of paper that was actually kind of important...siigh..what else. forget it. There were difficult clients too. " I want someone more advanced, I value my hair." This one woman wouldn't settle for anyone but (insert name) and I had to be the messenger between her at the front desk, and my teacher in her office. Both were mad at me by the end.

Ok. enough pity party. Know what was good about today? I figured out where I need to go to get my art fundamentals diploma. And I get to cut Ryan and Anton's hair tonight. If they ever show up. :)
So vote on this haircut. eww.

Miriam

Pray for Miriam...


http://www.miriamfluit.blogspot.com/


A lot of people had bad news this weekend...almost everyone at school knows someone or heard about someone getting hurt or dying. It was a bad weekend for car accidents. A girl from school is missing 2 days this week for funerals of friends in the Brantford area.

Brittni's accident was on wednesday, and until Sunday morning everyone was thinking only about that and we were all soberminded as we went into church, and then we heard about Mir, and even thought Britt's is still serious, focus went to Miriam. For awhile there it was it was like everytime I remembered my breath caught...not a nice feeling. I went to see Brittni tonight with Mom and Katie..it was fun, she hasn't been visited as much today because it's a week day, so go visit her. :)

July 1st

Congratulations to Marlene and Mark who are now old and married ;)

I've been to a lot of weddings lately. And at almost all of them I'm told, "Maybe you will be next!" I'm sure that's true...the maybe part. siigh. I don't know why people remind single people that they are single.

I got my hair cut again. It's been described as "classy" "chic" "stylish" "Modern" and "totally hairstylish!!!!" (guess who said that!) I'm not sure though, I would describe it with this word, " Mullet" But when I said that to Alex he said it wasn't a mullet..and if it was it was a flowy mullet. I'll post a picture eventually and get some "mullet or not mullet" votes. and you all have to vote.

I just realized that I am once again missing Fireworks! (Happy Canada Day!) It's ok..I saw Mark getting his shirt cut up and made into diapers, kleenex, and doilies, and I saw Marlene throw her bouquet to Candice. And I saw Candice catch it. And I got to eat amazing food. Wow Marlene throws a good party. !!!